I always take the view that every cloud has a silver lining and that problems are just obstacles that need to be overcome. In fact without the obstacles how would we ever have the opportunity to learn and grow?
Some people say that taking this positive attitude all the time is not being realistic. I say we create our own reality and that if we focus on the worst case scenario, that's what we'll get. The teachers of "The Secret" - Jack Canfield, Bob Proctor, John Assaraf etc., all speak of this and if you are familiar with their stories, amongst many others, you will know this to be true.
By all means prepare for anticipated challenges, (it would be foolish not to), but don't get hung up on them and let them take over your existence.
Decide what you want, get clear on your outcome, and think through the potential barriers that may get in your way. Having done this you can create the action plans that ensure you move closer to achieving what you aim for. As you progress you may find unexpected obstacles come up anyway and by taking the view that you can get past or over them, you are more likely to come up with the solution(s).
I've had a few conversations recently with friends about the power of possibility and for me, whilst sometimes things can be a struggle and challenging, I always come back to the fact that anything really is possible if we believe it to be so.
Just yesterday I was listening to a success based audio programme (tip- listen to these often and notice how your attitude changes over time), and we were reminded that successful people focus on success and unsuccessful people focus on the things they don't have. It makes a lot of sense really. If we focus on what we want, the success we are looking for, whether it be health, wealth, great relationships, business success, finance or simply happiness, we will see the opportunities to create momentum towards that success. If, however, we focus on what we don't want, debt, stress, illness, bankruptcy, divorce etc, we are just reinforcing all those things in our lives and missing the clues on how to move forward.
So, I don't apologise for taking a positive, possibility oriented approach to life. If having a positive attitude, despite all our day-to-day challenges is being unrealistic, I'm not sorry. In fact, I highly recommend it!
Showing posts with label power of possibility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label power of possibility. Show all posts
Monday, 26 January 2009
Sunday, 12 October 2008
What would you do with more time?
What would you do with more time?
We all dream of having more time. Some of us struggle with too many things to do. We're overwhelmed and working more hours than ever.
I keep hearing from people that their biggest frustration is time management, and being a lot less productive than they know they should be. It's not surprising - we've all got more to do, less time to do it in, and more distractions than ever. I know some of this rings true for you.
So I want to tell you about the upcoming Time Experts Telesummit which has been brought to my attention by my very dear friend and performance coach, Kris Carey. The event brings together 10 world-class experts on time management and productivity. They will teach you ways to work with less stress, eliminate distractions that steal your time, and double your productivity.
You can listen to all the teleseminars for free if you sign up by 14th October (which is when the Telesummit starts).
As you well know, I am very careful about who I recommend. This group of 10 bestselling authors and thought leaders is truly impressive. Their techniques and methods have been successfully practiced by thousands of people.
One of the experts, Dr. Neil Fiore, wrote the bestselling book on procrastination on Amazon. Another expert, Mike Song, is possibly the best known expert on email efficiency in the US. There is even a Zen master sharing his wisdom about time.
Just a few hours of learning from these experts will have a huge impact on your productivity - for the rest of your life. It only takes learning one key productivity technique or practice (and a few hours of listening) for you to have a major breakthrough on your biggest time management challenge.
The event is designed so that you can listen to each of the teleseminars on the phone or via the web. I've signed up for this event, and am looking forward to soaking up the knowledge of these experts.
I trust you will join me. Sign up here for the Time Experts Telesummit - Registration is free before 14th October.
We all dream of having more time. Some of us struggle with too many things to do. We're overwhelmed and working more hours than ever.
I keep hearing from people that their biggest frustration is time management, and being a lot less productive than they know they should be. It's not surprising - we've all got more to do, less time to do it in, and more distractions than ever. I know some of this rings true for you.
So I want to tell you about the upcoming Time Experts Telesummit which has been brought to my attention by my very dear friend and performance coach, Kris Carey. The event brings together 10 world-class experts on time management and productivity. They will teach you ways to work with less stress, eliminate distractions that steal your time, and double your productivity.
You can listen to all the teleseminars for free if you sign up by 14th October (which is when the Telesummit starts).
As you well know, I am very careful about who I recommend. This group of 10 bestselling authors and thought leaders is truly impressive. Their techniques and methods have been successfully practiced by thousands of people.
One of the experts, Dr. Neil Fiore, wrote the bestselling book on procrastination on Amazon. Another expert, Mike Song, is possibly the best known expert on email efficiency in the US. There is even a Zen master sharing his wisdom about time.
Just a few hours of learning from these experts will have a huge impact on your productivity - for the rest of your life. It only takes learning one key productivity technique or practice (and a few hours of listening) for you to have a major breakthrough on your biggest time management challenge.
The event is designed so that you can listen to each of the teleseminars on the phone or via the web. I've signed up for this event, and am looking forward to soaking up the knowledge of these experts.
I trust you will join me. Sign up here for the Time Experts Telesummit - Registration is free before 14th October.
Tuesday, 7 October 2008
I'm not participating!
Dr. Ivan Misner, founder of BNI and member of Jack Canfield's "Transformational Leadership Council" encouraged his members last week in his newsletter to state "I'm not participating in a recession!" Quite right too!
We all have a choice about how we feel and I encourage people I work with to observe their own language and change it when they find themselves using negative language or having thoughts that are focused on what may go wrong. Some will criticise this approach and say that one needs to be realistic. So I ask you "what is realistic?"
If realism is allowing oneself to be negatively affected by circumstances outside of them, or by comments someone else makes, then give me the alternative every time.
In their book "The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent" Esther and Jerry Hicks, or more accurately, the "collective consciousness" called Abraham, asks "why would you want to accept or "face a reality" that is not pleasing when you can create a reality that IS pleasing?"
My view is simply this: if you know that you do have a choice about how you feel, then wouldn't it serve you better to choose a feeling of empowerment and positive energy rather than allow yourself to be drawn into a place of negativity? So, by keeping an eye on the language we use, we can create the positive energy we would prefer, just by changing what we say and the thoughts we think.
So no, I am not participating in a recession and I invite you to make the same choice!
We all have a choice about how we feel and I encourage people I work with to observe their own language and change it when they find themselves using negative language or having thoughts that are focused on what may go wrong. Some will criticise this approach and say that one needs to be realistic. So I ask you "what is realistic?"
If realism is allowing oneself to be negatively affected by circumstances outside of them, or by comments someone else makes, then give me the alternative every time.
In their book "The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent" Esther and Jerry Hicks, or more accurately, the "collective consciousness" called Abraham, asks "why would you want to accept or "face a reality" that is not pleasing when you can create a reality that IS pleasing?"
My view is simply this: if you know that you do have a choice about how you feel, then wouldn't it serve you better to choose a feeling of empowerment and positive energy rather than allow yourself to be drawn into a place of negativity? So, by keeping an eye on the language we use, we can create the positive energy we would prefer, just by changing what we say and the thoughts we think.
So no, I am not participating in a recession and I invite you to make the same choice!
Wednesday, 13 August 2008
Visualise your Success, be clear about it!
All of the great teachers talk about visualising your success using a variety of different methods, tools and techniques.
Some talk about simply setting goals, on the basis that if you don’t know where you want to go, how can you possibly expect to get there?
We hear about SMART goals, that they are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and timebound. Others will invite you to feel how you would when the goal is achieved - sense the emotions; the buzz, excitement, confidence, laughter, celebration and so on. You might imagine the sounds around you, the people and the environment you are in.
We are told that what we resist persists, so focus on what you want, not what you don’t want, as what you focus on you create. It is said you can’t think about what you don’t want to think about, without thinking about it. So you shouldn’t think about not being in debt, you should think about being financially free. You should think about having a wonderful time seeing your relatives after you have landed, not the turbulent air and the storm outside the plane while you’re in the air.
Some teachers invite you to create vision boards or goals books, computer wallpaper backgrounds of your dream home or holiday destination, powerpoint slides and iPod photo albums. Others will have you visualising what you want, in meditation or just quiet reflection. Some will ask you to release on your attachment to a goal or a dream once you have decided it, others will have you list them and read them every day.
Many teachers will have you do a combination of all these things and a variety of others as well.
I’ve used all of these and many others at one time or another and what I am certain about is that you must be absolutely clear on what it is you do want. Where there is doubt or lack of clarity, there is lack of focus. Where there is lack of focus there is a lack of action. Where there is lack of action, there are “unexpected outcomes”.
We cannot predict exactly how our results pan out, but we can predict exactly what actions we will take in the anticipation of certain results. It is far easier to plan the action when we are clear about what we see as being the result. To have that clarity we must visualise our success and be clear about what it is that we want.
I was reminded of the need for clarity earlier this week when creating my goals for the following day. I visualised booking after booking coming through electronically for an event we are promoting just now (see below). We had just implemented the next stage of the marketing plan and I saw in my mind’s eye all these bookings popping up on the screen.
Imagine how great I felt first thing the next morning when I just watched the screen fill up with new booking after new booking. I knew that we had created a great plan, we had implemented it as we had expected and I had visualised the next day’s goals being achieved. What a feeling!
Unfortunately, I had missed a key ingredient in the process – visualising exactly what those bookings looked like. I hadn’t considered who the delegates might be, or where they had come from, how we could give them great value, what they needed from the seminar and so on.
So what was the actual result? ....my web design people TESTING a development we had asked for. Booking after booking saying test, test, test!!
My SUCCESS TIP this week therefore is just this:
VISUALISE YOUR SUCCESS, and BE CLEAR about what you want, otherwise don’t be surprised when you get an unexpected outcome!
If you want to know more about how leadership coaching and training can help you improve your results in business contact us here.
Some talk about simply setting goals, on the basis that if you don’t know where you want to go, how can you possibly expect to get there?
We hear about SMART goals, that they are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and timebound. Others will invite you to feel how you would when the goal is achieved - sense the emotions; the buzz, excitement, confidence, laughter, celebration and so on. You might imagine the sounds around you, the people and the environment you are in.
We are told that what we resist persists, so focus on what you want, not what you don’t want, as what you focus on you create. It is said you can’t think about what you don’t want to think about, without thinking about it. So you shouldn’t think about not being in debt, you should think about being financially free. You should think about having a wonderful time seeing your relatives after you have landed, not the turbulent air and the storm outside the plane while you’re in the air.
Some teachers invite you to create vision boards or goals books, computer wallpaper backgrounds of your dream home or holiday destination, powerpoint slides and iPod photo albums. Others will have you visualising what you want, in meditation or just quiet reflection. Some will ask you to release on your attachment to a goal or a dream once you have decided it, others will have you list them and read them every day.
Many teachers will have you do a combination of all these things and a variety of others as well.
I’ve used all of these and many others at one time or another and what I am certain about is that you must be absolutely clear on what it is you do want. Where there is doubt or lack of clarity, there is lack of focus. Where there is lack of focus there is a lack of action. Where there is lack of action, there are “unexpected outcomes”.
We cannot predict exactly how our results pan out, but we can predict exactly what actions we will take in the anticipation of certain results. It is far easier to plan the action when we are clear about what we see as being the result. To have that clarity we must visualise our success and be clear about what it is that we want.
I was reminded of the need for clarity earlier this week when creating my goals for the following day. I visualised booking after booking coming through electronically for an event we are promoting just now (see below). We had just implemented the next stage of the marketing plan and I saw in my mind’s eye all these bookings popping up on the screen.
Imagine how great I felt first thing the next morning when I just watched the screen fill up with new booking after new booking. I knew that we had created a great plan, we had implemented it as we had expected and I had visualised the next day’s goals being achieved. What a feeling!
Unfortunately, I had missed a key ingredient in the process – visualising exactly what those bookings looked like. I hadn’t considered who the delegates might be, or where they had come from, how we could give them great value, what they needed from the seminar and so on.
So what was the actual result? ....my web design people TESTING a development we had asked for. Booking after booking saying test, test, test!!
My SUCCESS TIP this week therefore is just this:
VISUALISE YOUR SUCCESS, and BE CLEAR about what you want, otherwise don’t be surprised when you get an unexpected outcome!
If you want to know more about how leadership coaching and training can help you improve your results in business contact us here.
Tuesday, 29 July 2008
What do you stand for?
I received an email this morning from my coach in Sydney and it literally stopped me in my tracks. It contained a story which I decided to share with you a little further below.
We talk about taking 100% responsibility for our lives. We say that the way we feel, the results we get, the responses we get from others around us, is all a choice. We discuss getting out of the blame game and creating the life we want and the goals we desire.
The story simply had me consider “what do I choose to stand for?” regardless of what I have achieved yet, or may want to achieve in the future, despite the successes I have created or the feedback I have used when outcomes have been “unexpected”.
Many people in business try and sell what they have to sell without consideration for what people actually need or want. Some businesses “go for the close” before asking their customers “what do you need?” or “how can I help you?” Occasionally businesses will force their product or service on someone and they may even buy, once.
Many businesses are so focused on their “competition” they forget to see how they can add value to their own customers. They are constantly looking for the opportunity to “beat the competition” rather than look to improve what they do for benefit of being better than they themselves are right now. Perhaps the only competition we have in business is ourselves?
But what do these businesses stand for? What do you stand for in your business, your life?
This story may help…Would you have made the same choice?
Two Choices
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.
After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection.Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.Where is the natural order of things in my son?'
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'Then he told the following story:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?'
I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'
Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.
In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.
The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!Run to first!'
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team, who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!‘Shay, run to third!'
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.
'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.
Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
And the foot note that came with this story:
We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.
If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'
So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?
A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.
You now have two choices: 1. Delete 2. Forward
May your day, be a Shay Day.
I receive many stories and video clips every day, many if which will invite the reader to forward it to other people. For me, my choice is to ignore that invitation as I, like you no doubt, don’t want to add to people’s inbox just for the sake of it.
Today however, I made a choice. This choice is based simply on the question I asked at the top of this article “what do I choose to stand for?”
Imagine a business world where people made choices like the baseball team in the story. Imagine a business world where everyone truly wanted to support each other to be successful rather than just “cut each other’s throats” for the sake of the quick sale. Imagine a business world that believed in “win/win” in the true spirit of the principle so well described by Stephen Covey in his book. Imagine your business if everyone you encountered tried to help you be successful and you in turn tried to help them.
Would you prefer to go to work each day knowing that everyone you meet wants to help and support you to win, or do you prefer the cut throat competitive world of mistrust and deviousness that results in win/lose or lose/win?
So ultimately, you really do have a choice and my success tip this week is simply this:
Ask yourself, “What do I choose to stand for?”
I trust you do indeed have a “Shay day” ;o)
If you want to know more about how leadership coaching and training can help you improve your results in business we will be happy to discuss this with you. Contact us here.
We talk about taking 100% responsibility for our lives. We say that the way we feel, the results we get, the responses we get from others around us, is all a choice. We discuss getting out of the blame game and creating the life we want and the goals we desire.
The story simply had me consider “what do I choose to stand for?” regardless of what I have achieved yet, or may want to achieve in the future, despite the successes I have created or the feedback I have used when outcomes have been “unexpected”.
Many people in business try and sell what they have to sell without consideration for what people actually need or want. Some businesses “go for the close” before asking their customers “what do you need?” or “how can I help you?” Occasionally businesses will force their product or service on someone and they may even buy, once.
Many businesses are so focused on their “competition” they forget to see how they can add value to their own customers. They are constantly looking for the opportunity to “beat the competition” rather than look to improve what they do for benefit of being better than they themselves are right now. Perhaps the only competition we have in business is ourselves?
But what do these businesses stand for? What do you stand for in your business, your life?
This story may help…Would you have made the same choice?
Two Choices
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.
After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection.Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.Where is the natural order of things in my son?'
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'Then he told the following story:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?'
I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'
Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.
In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.
The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!Run to first!'
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team, who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!‘Shay, run to third!'
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.
'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.
Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
And the foot note that came with this story:
We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.
If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'
So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?
A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.
You now have two choices: 1. Delete 2. Forward
May your day, be a Shay Day.
I receive many stories and video clips every day, many if which will invite the reader to forward it to other people. For me, my choice is to ignore that invitation as I, like you no doubt, don’t want to add to people’s inbox just for the sake of it.
Today however, I made a choice. This choice is based simply on the question I asked at the top of this article “what do I choose to stand for?”
Imagine a business world where people made choices like the baseball team in the story. Imagine a business world where everyone truly wanted to support each other to be successful rather than just “cut each other’s throats” for the sake of the quick sale. Imagine a business world that believed in “win/win” in the true spirit of the principle so well described by Stephen Covey in his book. Imagine your business if everyone you encountered tried to help you be successful and you in turn tried to help them.
Would you prefer to go to work each day knowing that everyone you meet wants to help and support you to win, or do you prefer the cut throat competitive world of mistrust and deviousness that results in win/lose or lose/win?
So ultimately, you really do have a choice and my success tip this week is simply this:
Ask yourself, “What do I choose to stand for?”
I trust you do indeed have a “Shay day” ;o)
If you want to know more about how leadership coaching and training can help you improve your results in business we will be happy to discuss this with you. Contact us here.
Monday, 5 May 2008
Does just "Belief and Commitment" create Success?
It's a Bank Holiday today, marked significantly by the wonderful absence of traffic as I was driving over to see a client this morning.
As I drove through Belfast I came across the marathon runners wending their way around the city. At first just a few, the "elite", super fit leaders, and then the numbers increased as the masses came through. I was reminded of the self belief and commitment that all these people would have made just to be able to make it to the starting line today. The hours and weeks of lonely training in all weathers. The pounding out the miles when many of us would have still been tucked up in our beds. The heartache and pain with the blisters and occasional injury. All for the opportunity to be able to say "I did it, I was there".
I have always admired these people, particularly those that are so fit they can complete the race in just over 2 hours. Wow, what a feat of endurance! It takes massive courage to take on the challenge. Many run for the benefit of others, a worthy cause that they have some personal affinity towards. Others just do it to prove to themselves that they can. Wheelchair participants, less able runners, people with limited or no sight, and so on. All of these have one thing in common - they absolutely believe they can do it, and do whatever it takes to make sure they do.
Business is no different. Success is created when we have an unwavering belief in what we are trying to do. When we make the commitment to our customers and our staff. When we do whatever it takes to fulfil the needs of our clients and serve them to the best of our ability. When we play full out to deliver great service. It is these things that ensure success.
I wonder though how often we compromise on our commitments in favour of the "easy" option. When is it that we lose sight of what we created our business for? Is it at these times that we find ourselves in difficulty? Should we just simply remind ourselves of what we stand for and why we started out in the first place?
I often ask clients why they are in business as opposed to what do they want. Attempting to create a distinction between material goals and what those material goals will give them emotionally, we are more easily able to uncover the feelings that enable movement towards action.
As with the marathon runner, having self belief and commitment without the action, the preparation, the practice, the pounding of the miles out on the road, will not deliver the results you are looking for.
When I completed the London marathon some years ago I absolutely had the belief but I did not do the hard work, for a variety of reasons, and the end result? Yes I completed it, slowly. But I came in the bottom 5%. Is this the result you want? Do you want to be in the elite or come in much much later?
So, have a go certainly. Believe in yourself, definitely. Commit, without doubt. But make sure you know why you are doing what you are doing and stay focused on doing whatever it takes to keep your business ahead of the pack. With this level of commitment to action you surely will succeed!
To your success!
Friday, 1 February 2008
What's work/life balance really all about?
Richard Branson said that there is no play or work, just living. So, if we are passionate about what we do, and we get excited about it every day, is there really a need to worry about work/life balance?
People regularly tell me they want to create more balance in their lives. They say they work too hard and don’t get enough time off. They don’t spend enough time with their family, don’t have days off, never take a holiday, get up early, go to bed late. It seems to be a constant battle to keep going.
I realised, after doing some “self-development” work with my coach and one of my mastermind groups, that whilst I love what I do, and am absolutely passionate about it, I might have been falling into a “trap” of pushing too hard in one area of life at the possible expense of another. For me, balance is not about work/life, but about the key areas of your whole life. This includes relationships with family and friends, fun and adventure, personal development, business, finance, toys and luxuries, contribution or service, health and fitness. The game of life is about having balance in all these areas so that no one area is suffering at the expense of success in another.
So, I asked myself “how can I create more balance as a whole” and then created goals, planned strategies and took action to make it happen. However, I also realised that planning balance and taking action was great and moved me forward, it was also very easy to allow myself to slip back into my old ways, the ways of my corporate career when everything in life then was about working hard, getting noticed, delivering results, being promoted, earning more money and bonuses, getting the new company car and so on.
It is so easy to work harder when things seem challenging and finding yourself spinning round in circles, beating yourself up when things don’t go the way you planned and then getting back on the roundabout of work, work, work, or rather, effort, effort, effort, losing sight of keeping balance in the other areas. This is the time when it is so important to keep our eye on the ball and allow ourselves to just take some time out to recharge, refocus and connect back with our energy.
I recall when I worked for a company many years ago, driving fork-lift trucks, moving their products around the site. We worked our machine solidly for 10 hours straight every day. The boss would say that the most important job of the day was to plug the fork-lift into it’s charger at the end of the shift, before we left. If this wasn’t done and we returned the following morning we would find no machine available and therefore no work, no money. The fork-lift, like us, needed to literally recharge it’s batteries to be able to function properly, or even at all, the next day.
So my success tips this week are:
People regularly tell me they want to create more balance in their lives. They say they work too hard and don’t get enough time off. They don’t spend enough time with their family, don’t have days off, never take a holiday, get up early, go to bed late. It seems to be a constant battle to keep going.
I realised, after doing some “self-development” work with my coach and one of my mastermind groups, that whilst I love what I do, and am absolutely passionate about it, I might have been falling into a “trap” of pushing too hard in one area of life at the possible expense of another. For me, balance is not about work/life, but about the key areas of your whole life. This includes relationships with family and friends, fun and adventure, personal development, business, finance, toys and luxuries, contribution or service, health and fitness. The game of life is about having balance in all these areas so that no one area is suffering at the expense of success in another.
So, I asked myself “how can I create more balance as a whole” and then created goals, planned strategies and took action to make it happen. However, I also realised that planning balance and taking action was great and moved me forward, it was also very easy to allow myself to slip back into my old ways, the ways of my corporate career when everything in life then was about working hard, getting noticed, delivering results, being promoted, earning more money and bonuses, getting the new company car and so on.
It is so easy to work harder when things seem challenging and finding yourself spinning round in circles, beating yourself up when things don’t go the way you planned and then getting back on the roundabout of work, work, work, or rather, effort, effort, effort, losing sight of keeping balance in the other areas. This is the time when it is so important to keep our eye on the ball and allow ourselves to just take some time out to recharge, refocus and connect back with our energy.
I recall when I worked for a company many years ago, driving fork-lift trucks, moving their products around the site. We worked our machine solidly for 10 hours straight every day. The boss would say that the most important job of the day was to plug the fork-lift into it’s charger at the end of the shift, before we left. If this wasn’t done and we returned the following morning we would find no machine available and therefore no work, no money. The fork-lift, like us, needed to literally recharge it’s batteries to be able to function properly, or even at all, the next day.
So my success tips this week are:
- Review what you do and make sure that you are living your life in terms of living rather than work/life as if they are separate entities. They’re not.
- Look at where your balance is, or isn’t, and create some goals in those areas that you would like to improve.
- When things get tough, remind yourself that more “work” doesn’t necessarily mean better results.
- Take time to recharge your batteries and nurture your mind and body so that you can perform at your best every day.
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Friday, 9 November 2007
The Power of the Law of Attraction
There has been so much discussion and a heightened sense of awareness about the law of attraction since the film and book The Secret was created and subsequently put into the hands of millions of people through Rhonda Byrne and her supporters.
I first encountered the principles behind the law of attraction when the film was introduced to me at a training event in 2006. Since then, and following much more research, conversation, practice and self-discovery, I have found that when we set our intentions with the true belief that we create everything we experience in life, the principles really do work. Now these principles are not some “woo woo, out of this world codswallop”, but real and meaningful ways to attract into our lives what we aim for.
The power of setting your intention and attracting into your life what you intend exists, whether or not you believe it. However, when you are clear exactly what you do want to create, and I mean really clear, you will manifest great things if you choose to. On the other hand, if you ignore the principles of “we are and get what we create through our intention”, you may experience life differently to that which you say you would choose at a conscious level.
So what does this really mean?
What we focus on, we create. If we focus on what we want, we create it. If we focus on what we don’t want, the same is true, we create it - in other words we create what we don’t want. Confused? Yes, so was I to begin with, and coming from a cynical view in the early days, I almost refused to believe this could be true. This would mean that I would need to be taking total and unconditional responsibility for everything I said or thought and that I would be unable to blame others for anything, because I have created it, exactly as I said I wanted it!
So, my experience is this; when I have stated or thought an intention, truly believing that it is truth, I get or experienced what I intended. When I created a vision board with a TV camera pointing at a photo from a seminar I had previously delivered, a few days later a media Company called to ask if they could film my next seminar. When I put picture of a black-tie dinner on my board, I imagined I would be invited to be the after dinner speaker. Within weeks I was invited to speak as the after dinner speaker at a student union conference. When I was stuck with a headline that I was attracted to which read “My resolution - somewhere out there are kids that need our help”, I pasted it on to my career board, for no apparent reason and subsequently have been working with young people in a variety of different ways, realising this was what I truly wanted, amongst other things. Most recently, I had an idea for a corporate sponsor to support coaching young people who don’t have the resources to purchase self development programmes. Within two days I received a phone call which may result in just such a programme becoming a reality.
Conversely, when I have been focussed on the lack of money, we have received bills we weren’t expecting. When I have been focussed on being overweight, I put weight on. When I have focussed on being tired, I have had no energy.
Last week, I met a friend at a breakfast event and we discussed how she and her husband could not seem to get clear on where they were going over the next few years. It seemed to me that they might be stuck in trying to work out how they were going to get to where they wanted to be rather than being clear on what they really wanted and being open to the possibility that the how would show up once they had that clarity, (when I coach people around discovering their passions and their visions for the future we start with the intention that getting clear on “the what” is the first step). Later that day, I saw this friend again at a different event and she had subsequently had a conversation with her husband and they had become clear that this was exactly what the problem was and they could now move forward focussing on what they want, knowing that “the how” will show up just as it is supposed to.
I’ve had many conversations with people on how we “use” the law of attraction and the power of setting our intentions. I suggest that we can’t “use” it, we simply believe it and then monitor our thoughts and our intentions very closely and we will become more aligned with the universe and the energy that will conspire to support us in creating what we want.
My experience has been simple when I reflect back on it. The more I notice that the law of attraction is how the universe operates, the more I am able to get clearer on what I want and the more I am able to create what I want. When I set a vague intention I get a vague result. When I have some doubt, the doubt becomes the reality. When I am clear on the what, the how will show up!
Sign up for our regular newsletter at www.simonsmithcoaching.com and get further “Reflections” delivered to your inbox.
Check out our monthly free teleseminar at www.AskSimonSmith.com. This month’s expert guest is Terri Khonsari, speaker and author of the book “Raising a Superstar – Simple Strategies to Bring Out the BRILLIANCE in your child”.
I first encountered the principles behind the law of attraction when the film was introduced to me at a training event in 2006. Since then, and following much more research, conversation, practice and self-discovery, I have found that when we set our intentions with the true belief that we create everything we experience in life, the principles really do work. Now these principles are not some “woo woo, out of this world codswallop”, but real and meaningful ways to attract into our lives what we aim for.
The power of setting your intention and attracting into your life what you intend exists, whether or not you believe it. However, when you are clear exactly what you do want to create, and I mean really clear, you will manifest great things if you choose to. On the other hand, if you ignore the principles of “we are and get what we create through our intention”, you may experience life differently to that which you say you would choose at a conscious level.
So what does this really mean?
What we focus on, we create. If we focus on what we want, we create it. If we focus on what we don’t want, the same is true, we create it - in other words we create what we don’t want. Confused? Yes, so was I to begin with, and coming from a cynical view in the early days, I almost refused to believe this could be true. This would mean that I would need to be taking total and unconditional responsibility for everything I said or thought and that I would be unable to blame others for anything, because I have created it, exactly as I said I wanted it!
So, my experience is this; when I have stated or thought an intention, truly believing that it is truth, I get or experienced what I intended. When I created a vision board with a TV camera pointing at a photo from a seminar I had previously delivered, a few days later a media Company called to ask if they could film my next seminar. When I put picture of a black-tie dinner on my board, I imagined I would be invited to be the after dinner speaker. Within weeks I was invited to speak as the after dinner speaker at a student union conference. When I was stuck with a headline that I was attracted to which read “My resolution - somewhere out there are kids that need our help”, I pasted it on to my career board, for no apparent reason and subsequently have been working with young people in a variety of different ways, realising this was what I truly wanted, amongst other things. Most recently, I had an idea for a corporate sponsor to support coaching young people who don’t have the resources to purchase self development programmes. Within two days I received a phone call which may result in just such a programme becoming a reality.
Conversely, when I have been focussed on the lack of money, we have received bills we weren’t expecting. When I have been focussed on being overweight, I put weight on. When I have focussed on being tired, I have had no energy.
Last week, I met a friend at a breakfast event and we discussed how she and her husband could not seem to get clear on where they were going over the next few years. It seemed to me that they might be stuck in trying to work out how they were going to get to where they wanted to be rather than being clear on what they really wanted and being open to the possibility that the how would show up once they had that clarity, (when I coach people around discovering their passions and their visions for the future we start with the intention that getting clear on “the what” is the first step). Later that day, I saw this friend again at a different event and she had subsequently had a conversation with her husband and they had become clear that this was exactly what the problem was and they could now move forward focussing on what they want, knowing that “the how” will show up just as it is supposed to.
I’ve had many conversations with people on how we “use” the law of attraction and the power of setting our intentions. I suggest that we can’t “use” it, we simply believe it and then monitor our thoughts and our intentions very closely and we will become more aligned with the universe and the energy that will conspire to support us in creating what we want.
My experience has been simple when I reflect back on it. The more I notice that the law of attraction is how the universe operates, the more I am able to get clearer on what I want and the more I am able to create what I want. When I set a vague intention I get a vague result. When I have some doubt, the doubt becomes the reality. When I am clear on the what, the how will show up!
Sign up for our regular newsletter at www.simonsmithcoaching.com and get further “Reflections” delivered to your inbox.
Check out our monthly free teleseminar at www.AskSimonSmith.com. This month’s expert guest is Terri Khonsari, speaker and author of the book “Raising a Superstar – Simple Strategies to Bring Out the BRILLIANCE in your child”.
Sunday, 21 October 2007
Passion Creates Success
It’s Sunday afternoon and the finale of the Grand Prix season is running as I write. Lewis Hamilton is fighting to overtake enough people to win the world championship, Filipe Massa is winning the race but will give up his place for Raikkonen to win, if asked to do so by his pit team.
Passion is what has got Lewis Hamilton to this position. He has dedicated his life since he was 11 years old to be the F1 World Champion. He followed his dream and his passion to be on top of the F1 world. We don’t know what else will unfold during the race but it really is so exciting to see these guys follow their passions to achieve their dreams.
And why am I writing on my blog? Well, the ITV coverage means that we put up with pointless adverts throughout the coverage of the race. Some of you will say, get out of complaining and talk to somebody who can do something about it. I did, and I have. I have written to ITV and I have submitted a posting on their blog. In the meantime I thought I would use the time usefully rather than watch adverts that do nothing for me and do not persuade me to rush out and buy the latest Honda, car insurance or indeed spend some time thinking about mind health! Not sure where that came from in the scheme of F1 advertising!
Anyway, the race is now over. Kimi has won and well deserved. He is the new world champion!
I look forward to seeing the next F1 season and I trust that ITV will review their coverage and let us, the viewer, enjoy the passion rather than the sponsors!
Passion is what has got Lewis Hamilton to this position. He has dedicated his life since he was 11 years old to be the F1 World Champion. He followed his dream and his passion to be on top of the F1 world. We don’t know what else will unfold during the race but it really is so exciting to see these guys follow their passions to achieve their dreams.
And why am I writing on my blog? Well, the ITV coverage means that we put up with pointless adverts throughout the coverage of the race. Some of you will say, get out of complaining and talk to somebody who can do something about it. I did, and I have. I have written to ITV and I have submitted a posting on their blog. In the meantime I thought I would use the time usefully rather than watch adverts that do nothing for me and do not persuade me to rush out and buy the latest Honda, car insurance or indeed spend some time thinking about mind health! Not sure where that came from in the scheme of F1 advertising!
Anyway, the race is now over. Kimi has won and well deserved. He is the new world champion!
I look forward to seeing the next F1 season and I trust that ITV will review their coverage and let us, the viewer, enjoy the passion rather than the sponsors!
Tuesday, 2 October 2007
What is Inspiration?
I’ve just got off a call to my coach and we’ve been discussing inspiration. The light bulb came on for me when I looked at the meaning of the word and found that one definition is “the drawing of air into the lungs; inhalation” which implies that inspiration comes from the inside. If this is true then my job as a coach and trainer is to “be inspired” from the inside with the intention of “being inspirational” on the outside.
When I think about the people who have provided inspiration for me, too numerous to list, I very quickly conclude the reason they inspired me is because they were first inspired themselves. They have an internal energy and motivation that comes from a desire to learn, grow, improve and develop, soaking up new information and insights and sharing these with those around them.
If then, my purpose is to inspire others; I must first “Be Inspired”. If I choose this path of service to support people in living a fulfilled and happy life, create success in their career or business, relationships, health and leisure, personal growth and contribution, my responsibility to them is to be inspired myself.
So, when I am “looking for inspiration” which is a phrase I find myself using often when I am writing or preparing for a coaching or training session, I might first look inside, perhaps through meditation or simple quiet reflection, and search for where I am inspired. It is no surprise therefore that when I look back, some of my most interesting insights have come whilst meditating or being around people who are themselves inspired in some way.
This then serves to reinforce the point that we should indeed surround ourselves with people who have a positive impact on us, who inspire us in some way.
So, my invitation is simply this: Consider who you surround yourself with in your day to day life. Are they inspired? Do they provide you with inspiration? If not, what steps might you take to provide that inspiration in your life?
Be Inspired!
When I think about the people who have provided inspiration for me, too numerous to list, I very quickly conclude the reason they inspired me is because they were first inspired themselves. They have an internal energy and motivation that comes from a desire to learn, grow, improve and develop, soaking up new information and insights and sharing these with those around them.
If then, my purpose is to inspire others; I must first “Be Inspired”. If I choose this path of service to support people in living a fulfilled and happy life, create success in their career or business, relationships, health and leisure, personal growth and contribution, my responsibility to them is to be inspired myself.
So, when I am “looking for inspiration” which is a phrase I find myself using often when I am writing or preparing for a coaching or training session, I might first look inside, perhaps through meditation or simple quiet reflection, and search for where I am inspired. It is no surprise therefore that when I look back, some of my most interesting insights have come whilst meditating or being around people who are themselves inspired in some way.
This then serves to reinforce the point that we should indeed surround ourselves with people who have a positive impact on us, who inspire us in some way.
So, my invitation is simply this: Consider who you surround yourself with in your day to day life. Are they inspired? Do they provide you with inspiration? If not, what steps might you take to provide that inspiration in your life?
Be Inspired!
Monday, 24 September 2007
Times of Change - Raising a Superstar
I’ve recently been inspired by the book “Raising a Superstar” by Terri Khonsari whom I met in the summer not knowing that she was about to publish her book.
Terri gives some solid, practical advice on how to raise a superstar child, having faced many challenges in her own life during the process of raising her very own superstar, Nilou.
Reading the book led me to ask myself questions about how we’ve raised our own children, especially my daughter, who at 15 years old is going through the usual tremendous amount of physical and emotional change. The boys are now all grown up, left home and got their own children, partners, careers and adult lives. Charlotte on the other hand, is still on her journey to adulthood.
I question where we went right and where we could have done better. Did we give too much and rob her of her independence or did we give too little and make her too independent? Could we have been more active in her education, teaching her about money, giving to other people, health, spirituality and so on? How will she fare in the big wide world once she has decided to leave the coup and fly?
For my part, one thing I know for sure is that we always do the best we can with the skills, knowledge and experience that we have at any given time. It continues to be our responsibility however, to build and develop our skills and knowledge and use that to support our children as they grow and continue their own development. That’s why I recommend this book wholeheartedly to help you support your children to be who they really are and raise your very own superstar!
To get the book now click on the link below:
www.simonsmithcoaching.com/recommendedreading/index.asp
Terri gives some solid, practical advice on how to raise a superstar child, having faced many challenges in her own life during the process of raising her very own superstar, Nilou.
Reading the book led me to ask myself questions about how we’ve raised our own children, especially my daughter, who at 15 years old is going through the usual tremendous amount of physical and emotional change. The boys are now all grown up, left home and got their own children, partners, careers and adult lives. Charlotte on the other hand, is still on her journey to adulthood.
I question where we went right and where we could have done better. Did we give too much and rob her of her independence or did we give too little and make her too independent? Could we have been more active in her education, teaching her about money, giving to other people, health, spirituality and so on? How will she fare in the big wide world once she has decided to leave the coup and fly?
For my part, one thing I know for sure is that we always do the best we can with the skills, knowledge and experience that we have at any given time. It continues to be our responsibility however, to build and develop our skills and knowledge and use that to support our children as they grow and continue their own development. That’s why I recommend this book wholeheartedly to help you support your children to be who they really are and raise your very own superstar!
To get the book now click on the link below:
www.simonsmithcoaching.com/recommendedreading/index.asp
Saturday, 22 September 2007
Feeling the fear and doing it anyway
How many times do we avoid doing something because we have decided that we will fail before we have even tried? How many times do we create a predetermined result before we can possibly know what that result will be? How many times have we missed out because we chose not face our fear?
In the early years of my career I worked with children who had learning disabilities combined with what we called “severe behaviour problems”. That is to say, they had learned to respond to the world through “unacceptable social behaviour”. Some were violent, to themselves or others; some would tantrum, scream, shout, spit, vomit and so on. In all cases the behaviour would show up because they had been unable to communicate what they wanted effectively enough to get the result they desired.
We often created situations for these children that would help develop their experiences of the world. For example, we would take them on adventure trips where they would abseil, climb rocks, canoe, go potholing and the like.
On one of these trips we had been taken by our instructors to a beautiful little village in the Lake District of NW England, where the locals and visiting adventurers alike would jump off the bridge into the river some 60 or 70 feet below. The children in our charge ate their picnic lunch on the river bank below watching the continuous activity of a steady stream of people jumping off the bridge with a wild scream, plunging into the water and disappearing for several seconds before emerging with laughter and shouts of delight at their achievement.
Inspired by the excitement I decided I wanted to have a go at this and overcome my “fear” of heights once and for all and experience the amazing fun these people were apparently having. No sooner than I had said it, one of the instructors took me up to the bridge, jumped off and then waited for me to follow.
I stood on the wall of that bridge for over 45 minutes playing it over in mind, anticipating all the things that would go wrong; landing badly, hurting my feet as I hit the water, crashing against an unseen rock, not coming back up out of the water. I also began to anticipate the embarrassment of not doing it, not going through with my commitment, being laughed at and ridiculed. I told myself, 1-2-3 jump. No, in a minute. 1-2-3 jump. No, I can’t do it. 1-2-3 and now, jump! No, I’m scared. And so it went on until finally the instructors, all of whom were desperately encouraging me said “look, we’ve got to go now so jump or get down”. I got down.
It took me another 20 years to face that fear, when I finally did jump. The opportunity replayed in a different way with a skydive. Jumping out of a perfectly good aircraft at 13,000 feet seemed like a great way to finally overcome this fear that I had told myself I had had all my life. The difference with this, as the instructor had said during the training “when you’re sat on the edge of the plane, with your feet hanging out the door and the noise of the wind is unbearable, you can still say NO….however it so often sounds like GO!”
By putting myself in a situation where I would be pushed to succeed and face that fear, was what it took. And the experience itself? Wow! One of the most exhilarating activities of my life! The rush, the freedom, the excitement, the buzz. It was truly amazing.
I had missed out on an amazing experience twenty years earlier because I had failed to “face the fear and do it anyway”. Since then I promised myself to “just do it now”. Is this easy all the time? No. Do I succeed all the time? Not at all. And yet, when I do, when I believe in myself, the results always exceed my expectations.
My invitation to you is this: consider when you are pre-determining the result of an experience before you have allowed yourself to LIVE the experience, and when you let go of your thoughts you might be pleasantly surprised. So just go for it anyway!
In the early years of my career I worked with children who had learning disabilities combined with what we called “severe behaviour problems”. That is to say, they had learned to respond to the world through “unacceptable social behaviour”. Some were violent, to themselves or others; some would tantrum, scream, shout, spit, vomit and so on. In all cases the behaviour would show up because they had been unable to communicate what they wanted effectively enough to get the result they desired.
We often created situations for these children that would help develop their experiences of the world. For example, we would take them on adventure trips where they would abseil, climb rocks, canoe, go potholing and the like.
On one of these trips we had been taken by our instructors to a beautiful little village in the Lake District of NW England, where the locals and visiting adventurers alike would jump off the bridge into the river some 60 or 70 feet below. The children in our charge ate their picnic lunch on the river bank below watching the continuous activity of a steady stream of people jumping off the bridge with a wild scream, plunging into the water and disappearing for several seconds before emerging with laughter and shouts of delight at their achievement.
Inspired by the excitement I decided I wanted to have a go at this and overcome my “fear” of heights once and for all and experience the amazing fun these people were apparently having. No sooner than I had said it, one of the instructors took me up to the bridge, jumped off and then waited for me to follow.
I stood on the wall of that bridge for over 45 minutes playing it over in mind, anticipating all the things that would go wrong; landing badly, hurting my feet as I hit the water, crashing against an unseen rock, not coming back up out of the water. I also began to anticipate the embarrassment of not doing it, not going through with my commitment, being laughed at and ridiculed. I told myself, 1-2-3 jump. No, in a minute. 1-2-3 jump. No, I can’t do it. 1-2-3 and now, jump! No, I’m scared. And so it went on until finally the instructors, all of whom were desperately encouraging me said “look, we’ve got to go now so jump or get down”. I got down.
It took me another 20 years to face that fear, when I finally did jump. The opportunity replayed in a different way with a skydive. Jumping out of a perfectly good aircraft at 13,000 feet seemed like a great way to finally overcome this fear that I had told myself I had had all my life. The difference with this, as the instructor had said during the training “when you’re sat on the edge of the plane, with your feet hanging out the door and the noise of the wind is unbearable, you can still say NO….however it so often sounds like GO!”
By putting myself in a situation where I would be pushed to succeed and face that fear, was what it took. And the experience itself? Wow! One of the most exhilarating activities of my life! The rush, the freedom, the excitement, the buzz. It was truly amazing.
I had missed out on an amazing experience twenty years earlier because I had failed to “face the fear and do it anyway”. Since then I promised myself to “just do it now”. Is this easy all the time? No. Do I succeed all the time? Not at all. And yet, when I do, when I believe in myself, the results always exceed my expectations.
My invitation to you is this: consider when you are pre-determining the result of an experience before you have allowed yourself to LIVE the experience, and when you let go of your thoughts you might be pleasantly surprised. So just go for it anyway!
Tuesday, 11 September 2007
The innocence of youth
We had a new addition to the family this week. Another grandchild by my stepson which he and his wife have named Tallulah Melanie. Tallulah after her cousin and Melanie after her late "Auntie Mel" who tragically died 8 years ago at only 36 years of age.
I was reminded, when I looked into the tiny face of Tallulah as I was holding her in my arms for the first time, of the innocence and pure potentiality of youth. The miracle of a new life gives us the opportunity to help create, shape, influence and inspire a whole new generation if we pay attention to how we help bring this little bundle of pure unconsciousness into the world. It is through the experiences we help create for our children that we begin to influence who they are, what they become as people and how they choose to live their life.
How careful we need to be, in our choice of words and actions, to prevent a new life from growing up with "stuff" that later in life they may discover they want or need to let go of. As parents, grand parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, godparents, teachers, employers and so on, we have a duty to encourage those we influence in some way to be all they can be and all they really are. Yet, we forget our obligations and we tell those around us, particularly children, "you can't do that, you shouldn't do this, you must do this, that isn't right, this is wrong..."
Consider the alternative. What would the world be like if we brought all our children up to believe that anything is possible? That they can be, do, have or create anything they choose. What would the world be like if we encouraged our children to give instead of take, love instead of hate, accept instead of judge?
For my part, I want to find a way to influence or inspire Tallulah to discover herself, be all she can be and have a massive impact on the world knowing that she is unique and has unique gifts, and just by being who she is, anything is possible.
With that in mind, I was inspired myself today by a mailing we received from a cause we support, that offers "great gifts" and to start the process of Tallulah's potential impact on the world, she has now provided school meals for three children in Senegal for the entire first year of her life. All that impact for an investment of a fraction of the cost of just one weeks shopping in our home...now that's "food for thought"!
I was reminded, when I looked into the tiny face of Tallulah as I was holding her in my arms for the first time, of the innocence and pure potentiality of youth. The miracle of a new life gives us the opportunity to help create, shape, influence and inspire a whole new generation if we pay attention to how we help bring this little bundle of pure unconsciousness into the world. It is through the experiences we help create for our children that we begin to influence who they are, what they become as people and how they choose to live their life.
How careful we need to be, in our choice of words and actions, to prevent a new life from growing up with "stuff" that later in life they may discover they want or need to let go of. As parents, grand parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, godparents, teachers, employers and so on, we have a duty to encourage those we influence in some way to be all they can be and all they really are. Yet, we forget our obligations and we tell those around us, particularly children, "you can't do that, you shouldn't do this, you must do this, that isn't right, this is wrong..."
Consider the alternative. What would the world be like if we brought all our children up to believe that anything is possible? That they can be, do, have or create anything they choose. What would the world be like if we encouraged our children to give instead of take, love instead of hate, accept instead of judge?
For my part, I want to find a way to influence or inspire Tallulah to discover herself, be all she can be and have a massive impact on the world knowing that she is unique and has unique gifts, and just by being who she is, anything is possible.
With that in mind, I was inspired myself today by a mailing we received from a cause we support, that offers "great gifts" and to start the process of Tallulah's potential impact on the world, she has now provided school meals for three children in Senegal for the entire first year of her life. All that impact for an investment of a fraction of the cost of just one weeks shopping in our home...now that's "food for thought"!
Sunday, 2 September 2007
What is Success?
First published in my newsletter - August 2007 (visit www.simonsmithcoaching.com to sign up)
Interesting, I find, that almost without exception, when I initially ask people what they define as success they respond with a list of material things.
I recall when I first listed my goals several years ago I wrote about the big car, new house, holidays, x amount of money, travel to exotic locations etc etc. These are all important to me in some way but as I move along my own Inspired Journey of discovery, I now have an awareness that success, true success that is, is far more powerful than having £2,000,000 in the bank.
True success for me is about being totally and unconditionally in the moment, living life now, living my life on purpose and taking real pleasure from each and every moment. Just being me, just as I am; knowing that I am good enough.
I used to beat myself up, comparing myself to others and always coming off second best. I used to think I wasn’t good enough to achieve my dreams, didn’t deserve the next promotion, didn’t meet the expectations of those closest to me or my boss or my peers. I used to think that everyone else sat in judgement of me. I used to think that others would always be more successful.
So, I dreamed of the car, the house, the holidays, the travel but never really believing it could or would become reality. I dreamed of being my own boss one day. I dreamed of being exceptional on the cricket pitch. I dreamed of having a huge network of friends across the world. I dreamed of having millions, winning the lottery.
And then, after so much discovery, heartache, joy, love, passion and learning I came to realise that if I could just be present, in the here and now; if I could just enjoy the moment because it is, and I am; if I could just be me, right here, right now, then I didn’t need to dream anymore. Sure, I still have goals and desires, but now I just enjoy the moment, the journey, the discovery, whenever I can. And then I know… I am truly successful. I have already achieved!
Interesting, I find, that almost without exception, when I initially ask people what they define as success they respond with a list of material things.
I recall when I first listed my goals several years ago I wrote about the big car, new house, holidays, x amount of money, travel to exotic locations etc etc. These are all important to me in some way but as I move along my own Inspired Journey of discovery, I now have an awareness that success, true success that is, is far more powerful than having £2,000,000 in the bank.
True success for me is about being totally and unconditionally in the moment, living life now, living my life on purpose and taking real pleasure from each and every moment. Just being me, just as I am; knowing that I am good enough.
I used to beat myself up, comparing myself to others and always coming off second best. I used to think I wasn’t good enough to achieve my dreams, didn’t deserve the next promotion, didn’t meet the expectations of those closest to me or my boss or my peers. I used to think that everyone else sat in judgement of me. I used to think that others would always be more successful.
So, I dreamed of the car, the house, the holidays, the travel but never really believing it could or would become reality. I dreamed of being my own boss one day. I dreamed of being exceptional on the cricket pitch. I dreamed of having a huge network of friends across the world. I dreamed of having millions, winning the lottery.
And then, after so much discovery, heartache, joy, love, passion and learning I came to realise that if I could just be present, in the here and now; if I could just enjoy the moment because it is, and I am; if I could just be me, right here, right now, then I didn’t need to dream anymore. Sure, I still have goals and desires, but now I just enjoy the moment, the journey, the discovery, whenever I can. And then I know… I am truly successful. I have already achieved!
Busy as a Bee - Focus on Action Creates Results
From my newsletter (visit www.simonsmithcoaching.com to sign up) - June 2007
Summer is well and truly here and the activity of nature is all around us.
Over the last few days, with this glorious weather, I have been enjoying my first cup of tea of the day in the garden, watching nature at work. We have a dozen or so bees that are there every morning, busy busy busy, collecting nectar from our flowers and one plant in particular.
These wonderful creatures have an attitude of focussing on results, that if we were to replicate each and every day, it seems to me we could not fail in our efforts to succeed.
The bee is never distracted from its mission, regardless of what is going on around it. It finds an appropriate source of nectar and applies itself to the task, collecting its prize, filling itself up until the time it can not collect any more. After returning to base, depositing its fortunes in the safety and security of the community safe, it returns to apply its labour once more to the task in hand. It is absolutely focussed on results and does so taking full responsibility for its actions.
The bee does not blame its surroundings, its colleagues, its family, it simply stays focussed on its goal, and achieves, time and time again. Granted, when it is threatened, it reacts to protect itself and when left to its own work, it just stays on track and delivers results.
As I watched the bees do their work, focussing on the results they want, I realised that we are so often distracted by events or people that keep us from what we truly want. Most of the time, we don’t even realise we are allowing ourselves to be diverted, and then we create reasons for why we haven’t achieved that which we set out to create.
We are bombarded with 2,000,000 bits of information per second and we use our internal filters of attitudes, values, beliefs, memories, decisions, language and meta programs (the way we think and operate), to filter all those bits of information, to create our internal map of the world. The challenge is that we can only consciously focus on 7 things (+ or – 2) at any one time.
It is no surprise therefore that the most successful people in life are absolutely focussed on those things that are most important to them. Studies of people like Mahatma Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Richard Branson, Donald Trump, Dr Stephen Covey, John Gray, Denis Waitley, Mark Victor Hansen, Jack Canfield, Anthony Robbins, and so on and so on, show the common factor with all of them is just this; they are all clear and then focus on, what is most important to them. They know their top five “passions” and take focussed action towards them.
It is obvious to me therefore, that like the bees, once we take complete responsibility for the results in our life, get clarity on what is most important to us, and then take action, completely focussed on what we want to achieve (as opposed to what we don’t want), then we can only lead a successful, happy and fulfilled life…
Summer is well and truly here and the activity of nature is all around us.
Over the last few days, with this glorious weather, I have been enjoying my first cup of tea of the day in the garden, watching nature at work. We have a dozen or so bees that are there every morning, busy busy busy, collecting nectar from our flowers and one plant in particular.
These wonderful creatures have an attitude of focussing on results, that if we were to replicate each and every day, it seems to me we could not fail in our efforts to succeed.
The bee is never distracted from its mission, regardless of what is going on around it. It finds an appropriate source of nectar and applies itself to the task, collecting its prize, filling itself up until the time it can not collect any more. After returning to base, depositing its fortunes in the safety and security of the community safe, it returns to apply its labour once more to the task in hand. It is absolutely focussed on results and does so taking full responsibility for its actions.
The bee does not blame its surroundings, its colleagues, its family, it simply stays focussed on its goal, and achieves, time and time again. Granted, when it is threatened, it reacts to protect itself and when left to its own work, it just stays on track and delivers results.
As I watched the bees do their work, focussing on the results they want, I realised that we are so often distracted by events or people that keep us from what we truly want. Most of the time, we don’t even realise we are allowing ourselves to be diverted, and then we create reasons for why we haven’t achieved that which we set out to create.
We are bombarded with 2,000,000 bits of information per second and we use our internal filters of attitudes, values, beliefs, memories, decisions, language and meta programs (the way we think and operate), to filter all those bits of information, to create our internal map of the world. The challenge is that we can only consciously focus on 7 things (+ or – 2) at any one time.
It is no surprise therefore that the most successful people in life are absolutely focussed on those things that are most important to them. Studies of people like Mahatma Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Richard Branson, Donald Trump, Dr Stephen Covey, John Gray, Denis Waitley, Mark Victor Hansen, Jack Canfield, Anthony Robbins, and so on and so on, show the common factor with all of them is just this; they are all clear and then focus on, what is most important to them. They know their top five “passions” and take focussed action towards them.
It is obvious to me therefore, that like the bees, once we take complete responsibility for the results in our life, get clarity on what is most important to us, and then take action, completely focussed on what we want to achieve (as opposed to what we don’t want), then we can only lead a successful, happy and fulfilled life…
The Passion Test - The Secret to a Fulfilled and Happy Life
From my newsletter (visit www.simonsmithcoaching.com to sign up) - April 2007
Who do you admire? Who are your role models in life? Why do you think “celeb” magazines are always top of the reader polls?
We live in a society where so many people want to be someone else, where celebrity status can be acquired by simply being in a position of having something, good or bad, to say about somebody else, where being chased by the paparazzi is cool. We live in a world where reality TV is considered “real”, where “B” list celebrities living in a jungle, deprived of some food and washing materials is tough, where learning to dance on ice, ballroom dance, cook or sing is categorised as entertaining. We see wannabe pop stars abused by celebrities in an effort to “make it”.
I’m not saying this isn’t entertaining. After all, tens of millions of viewers can’t all be wrong, can they? I’m not saying that there isn’t a lot to be learnt from some of the content. Indeed, I learnt a lot from my daughter when during the last series of “I’m a celebrity, get me out of here”, when she was praying for one contestant to be booted out and I sarcastically contended that “he speaks highly of you” (or would if he knew her), and that she might be better served not judging people by the way they are portrayed on TV. Her response was to cut me down with “it’s alright for you, you just love everybody”. Not sure that is entirely true but the point was well made and left me considering whether that was true and what were the implications etc etc! (Isn’t it great how much we learn from our children?)
We were lucky enough to secure tickets to see a “real celebrity” in action last week. Dolly Parton, live in concert. Now this is someone I admire. This is someone who has “made it” by following her dreams and her passions, despite a fair amount of hard knocks on the way. She really is awesome in concert and her stories touch the heart. She doesn’t simply sing, she entertains in the true sense of the word, grabbing you by your emotions and leaving you with a sense of hope that the world is full of really good people.
They say a picture paints a thousand words. My view is that a song paints a thousand pictures.
I’ve rediscovered music recently. In my efforts to develop and grow, listening to hundreds of personal development CDs in the car I’d lost sight of the joy of music. Music has always been important to me since our childhood days being brought up on Neil Diamond, Tammy Wynette, John Denver, Abba, Top of the Pops with the silvery grey glitzy pictures that were considered the latest in special effects in the 70s. I’d forgotten just how music helps people to unwind, be with themselves, take stock, reflect, just enjoying the moment. Music is one way for me to move from contraction back to expansion.
Part of living a passionate life is recognising when you’re in “expansion” and “contraction”. This, from the book “Sad to Glad” by Janet and Chris Attwood, is just one of the tools we can use to ensure we stay on track living a life aligned with our passions. The first part of course, is to strip away the layers and get clear on our passions, what gets us up in the mornings, what drives us to achieve. Most of all, it is recognising that we are all unique. We all have something to offer and nobody else can be me! We, in turn, can be nobody else.
So, enjoy you being you and I will enjoy me being me. Know that you have a unique proposition for the world. You have something special to offer that nobody else can offer – YOU!
‘Til next time.
Simon
Who do you admire? Who are your role models in life? Why do you think “celeb” magazines are always top of the reader polls?
We live in a society where so many people want to be someone else, where celebrity status can be acquired by simply being in a position of having something, good or bad, to say about somebody else, where being chased by the paparazzi is cool. We live in a world where reality TV is considered “real”, where “B” list celebrities living in a jungle, deprived of some food and washing materials is tough, where learning to dance on ice, ballroom dance, cook or sing is categorised as entertaining. We see wannabe pop stars abused by celebrities in an effort to “make it”.
I’m not saying this isn’t entertaining. After all, tens of millions of viewers can’t all be wrong, can they? I’m not saying that there isn’t a lot to be learnt from some of the content. Indeed, I learnt a lot from my daughter when during the last series of “I’m a celebrity, get me out of here”, when she was praying for one contestant to be booted out and I sarcastically contended that “he speaks highly of you” (or would if he knew her), and that she might be better served not judging people by the way they are portrayed on TV. Her response was to cut me down with “it’s alright for you, you just love everybody”. Not sure that is entirely true but the point was well made and left me considering whether that was true and what were the implications etc etc! (Isn’t it great how much we learn from our children?)
We were lucky enough to secure tickets to see a “real celebrity” in action last week. Dolly Parton, live in concert. Now this is someone I admire. This is someone who has “made it” by following her dreams and her passions, despite a fair amount of hard knocks on the way. She really is awesome in concert and her stories touch the heart. She doesn’t simply sing, she entertains in the true sense of the word, grabbing you by your emotions and leaving you with a sense of hope that the world is full of really good people.
They say a picture paints a thousand words. My view is that a song paints a thousand pictures.
I’ve rediscovered music recently. In my efforts to develop and grow, listening to hundreds of personal development CDs in the car I’d lost sight of the joy of music. Music has always been important to me since our childhood days being brought up on Neil Diamond, Tammy Wynette, John Denver, Abba, Top of the Pops with the silvery grey glitzy pictures that were considered the latest in special effects in the 70s. I’d forgotten just how music helps people to unwind, be with themselves, take stock, reflect, just enjoying the moment. Music is one way for me to move from contraction back to expansion.
Part of living a passionate life is recognising when you’re in “expansion” and “contraction”. This, from the book “Sad to Glad” by Janet and Chris Attwood, is just one of the tools we can use to ensure we stay on track living a life aligned with our passions. The first part of course, is to strip away the layers and get clear on our passions, what gets us up in the mornings, what drives us to achieve. Most of all, it is recognising that we are all unique. We all have something to offer and nobody else can be me! We, in turn, can be nobody else.
So, enjoy you being you and I will enjoy me being me. Know that you have a unique proposition for the world. You have something special to offer that nobody else can offer – YOU!
‘Til next time.
Simon
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